


Confusion and Consequences

by guiltyreasons



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Genderbending, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Mild Mind Control, Multi, Polyamory, Questioning Sexuality, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M, Troubles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 06:41:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4695995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guiltyreasons/pseuds/guiltyreasons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathan thought he had seen everything until a half naked woman walks up to him claiming to be Duke Crooker....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Million Times

The ocean wind smelt salty as it hit Nathan square in the face. He breathed deep, savoring it. It was midday in the end of summer and the sun hung high in the sky. Nathan was sure the breeze would be a cooling relief if he could feel the heat. 

His annoyance turned to frustration as he scanned the horizon again. Duke’s truck was in the driveway, but he wasn’t at The Gull or on his boat. Nathan thought of calling him again, but the last three attempts had gone straight to voicemail. Audrey wanted Duke's help with a new trouble, but Nathan was about ready to pack it in. The trouble didn’t sound that dangerous, not yet. An old woman called in saying her dog was part cat. The dispatcher had dismissed it as general rambling and gone on to another call. Vince and Dave had to send in a picture of the dog/cat before anyone starting taking it seriously. The dog appeared to be a normal Yorkie in the front and an orange tabby cat an his rear. It was if someone had cut it in half and stuck the second animal on. It was more comical than disturbing, but troubles were never that mundane. 

The wood of the Cape Rouge’s deck creaked under his feet as he went to leave. He could almost hear his father’s voice saying ‘Watch your damn feet, boy. We can’t afford another hospital bill.’ As Nathan started to climb off the boat he was too busy watching his feet to see who was approaching him. He heard the padding of bare feet on the dock before he saw the figure that made his jaw drop.

A stunning woman with sharp features and dark hazel eyes walked towards him wearing only a pair of men's swimming trunks and nothing else. The trunks hung low on her hips as if two sizes too big. A hand covered each breast, cupping them while she covered her nipples. Her wet brown hair clung to her face as she tried to put on a brave face. Unfortunately the drowned rat look wasn’t cooperating with her confidence. The sixteen year old boy in Nathan wanted those hands to accidentally drop, but the cop had more practical ideas. He'd seen spring breakers going too far and pranks gone wrong before. This had more the signs of the former. Most girls that were victims of pranks tended to cower and panic more.

"Ma'am," Nathan said going towards her, "This isn't a topless beach. I'm going to have to ask you to cover up."

"Sorry, officer friendly, I didn't plan on needing a bikini today." the woman said smirking in a oddly familiar way. She didn't sound foreign or intoxicated. Still, any woman wandering around like this was looking for either trouble or attention. 

She tried to get passed him and onto the boat. Nathan used his body to blocked her. Even though it was Duke’s boat he felt oddly protective of the Cape Rouge. So much had happened on it. Some of the best and worsts events of his life had happened in it's shadow. He wasn’t about to let a possibly crazy lady climb aboard. Did she know Duke? 

"I'm not sure what you're playing at, but I know this isn't your boat,” he said in his best chief of police voice. It still felt like he was mimicking his father, but it got results, “Let's get you covered up and then we can get you back to your hotel."

"Really?. Get some pretty, half naked girl in your truck and take her to a hotel. Didn't know you had that kind of game, Nathan," the stranger taunted.

Nathan took a step back, his hand instinctively going to his gun. He didn’t pull it on her yet, but he was ready to.

"How did you know my name?" he demanded the wheels in his head turning. Another body switching curse? Changeling? Mind reading? He missed the days when his first assumption was he’d forgotten someone’s face. Simple just didn't work in Haven.

"Can you really not tell?" the woman asked sounding frustrated, "It's Duke. Now, move, I want on my boat."

"Duke?" he asked bewildered.

"In the flesh," the woman said her face settling into Duke's best annoyed expression. She was familiar in an odd way. He couldn't put his finger on it, not yet. 

"Prove it," Nathan demanded, still suspicious.

"Your troubles means you can't feel anything. I save your ass on a nearly daily basis. Good enough? Now, move," the woman, Duke, said pushing past him. Nathan didn’t budge. She took one hand off of her chest to push him, leaving only one arm to cover both breasts. Her arm wasn't doing that great of a job and one of her nipples peeked over the top. It drew Nathan’s eye despite himself. As well as the pretty pink areola he saw a familiar tattoo. That was one of Duke’s tattoo.

Nathan stumbled back in surprise and Duke passed him. It started to sink in that this was Duke. Duke was a woman. HIs eyebrows drew together in confusion and he followed Duke up the ramp.

"What happened?" Nathan asked.

"No idea. I was free diving and I came up with some new editions,” Duke said in his musical female voice.

They both walked into the darker haul of the ship. Once inside Duke dropped his arms with a exasperated sigh. Nathan stopped by the stairs, frozen in place. Duke’s brand new breasts were small, but perky, plump and bounced as he moved. Nathan turned his head away quickly, staring at the wooden wall.

“Duke,” Nathan snapped, staying angry instead of embarrassed. It drove him crazy that Duke could still shock him with ease.

“Come on, you’ve seen my nipples a million times. This isn’t that different.”

“I’m going to call Audrey. Want me to ask her to bring you anything? Shirt, pants...bra,” he asked over his shoulder.

“No, I’ll make do. Don’t worry, officer, I’ll cover up. It’s a family friendly harbor after all,” the angelic voice said in Duke's most irritating tone. 

Nathan rolled his eyes. He walked back up the stairs to the deck. His heart was pounding so hard he could hear it in his ears. It should not be beating this fast over Duke Crooker. Still, he was a straight man and that was the body of a good looking woman. It was normal to react. Wait, react? He held down his pants and tried to smooth them out. He couldn't tell if he was reacting, which if he was lucky, meant Duke couldn't either.

He took his phone from his pocket and called Audrey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a very unusual take on genderbending. This is Haven after all.


	2. Missing Pieces

Nathan made the call to Audrey while Duke changed. When he came up Nathan huffed and put his hands on his hips. Duke looked ridiculous.

Duke had put on a pair of his own jeans which were too large so made a belt out of a thin rope. His oversized shirt was tied off at the waist showing some midriff. His sleeves were rolled up high on pale, toned arms. Nathan suggested they buy something that fit better, but Duke didn't want to. He insisted he wouldn't be in this body long enough for it to matter. On the ride over Nathan kept his eyes on the road and ignored the strange sight beside him. When they went into the station a few officers couldn’t stop staring. Nathan almost told them exactly who they were gawking at.

They found Audrey working at her desk and they explained the situation. Audrey started laughing, but Duke’s pout made her stop. Duke couldn’t hold his composure either and started giggling, with Audrey echoed. Listening to the ‘women’ grated on Nathan’s nerves.

“How can you be so calm about this?” Nathan demanded about the time Audrey started suggesting makeup tips. Duke’s eyes were wide with wonder and Nathan had no idea if he was joking or not.

“Out of all the things that have happened to me in this town being given boobs isn’t that bad. Hell, it’s a blessing,” Duke said proudly. He cupped each breast with a hand and pressed them together making a chasm of cleavage.

"So, you're comfortable being all woman," Audrey asked with a raised eyebrow.

Duke looked sheepish and rubbed the back of his neck. He brought one hand up, holding it flat then rocking it back and forth. Audrey squinted at him, her face going more serious.

"Duke..." she said slowly, "What do you mean?"

"Well, the manliest bits of me are still around," Duke told them.

"Do you mean you're still...." Audrey started her eyes huge.

"You've got a..." Nathan said then stopped.

"I've still got a penis. What are we in elementary school? You can say it," Duke asked crossing his arms and leaning back. For a second Duke looked vulnerable. His attention went to the window and away from the two detectives. Was he more uncomfortable in his body then he was acting? Nathan felt a twinge of guilt

"Why sort of trouble gives you a half transformed body?" Audrey asked leaning back on the counter. Something about her question made Nathan pause. That sounded familiar. He snapped his finger as it came to him.

"The dog. There was a dog that was half cat," Nathan said picking up a report from his desk. He found a picture of the cat/dog. It looked like a purebred yorkie until the middle of it's back and then it became a classic orange tabby cat.

"I guess we're just lucky that Duke didn't turn into a hybrid of some animal," Audrey said looking over the report.

"I don't know. Give him some scales and a forked tongue and he'll finally look like he does on the inside," Nathan taunted. Only Duke didn't look like a snake right now, but more like Eve. Duke's eyes met his and Nathan focused on the report. No matter how lovely she was, she was still Duke inside. It was like being catfished by his own eyes.

"I would make one sexy devil," Duke said and kicked his feet up on the table.

Nathan got on his desktop and logged in. He punched a few keywords into the Haven Harold's newspaper page. All the best gossip in Haven was on there. He wasn't sure what they would call a transformation curse to the public, but "crazy dog" got him three different hits. One was the dog they already knew about and two others were similar stories. He showed them to Audrey and Duke came over to look over her shoulder. Duke still smelt of the ocean, but there was a softer smell too. Something that must be coming off of her hair. Nathan turned to get a better whiff without being too obvious.

"A genderswap curse with doggy crossovers as an adorable plus? Sounds like a bad anime," Duke said. Audrey and Nathan give him a confused look. Duke shrugged as if it should have been obvious.

"We need to find a commonality behind those who were affected," Audrey asked studying the stories about the dogs.

"Don't we always?" Duke asked rhetorically earning a pointed look from Audrey.

"All the dogs lived on the same street," Audrey said her attention back on the case. She opened the desk drawer and pulled out a local map. She traced her finger from the dog's houses to the other side of town. Her fingers landed on a shop and she tapped it. She had that little light of excitement in her eyes that always came when she got a clue."The cafe. We all had breakfast at the cafe which is on the same street at the dogs."

"So, someone saw or touched me at the cafe then now this happened," Duke said motioning to his female face.

"We need to go find out who was there at the cafe," Audrey told them, "We need to go talk to the owner. Duke, do you feel comfortable coming with us or would you rather stay here?"

"I'm coming with you. I've got a feeling this whole feminine wiles thing could be a lot of fun," Duke said. Couldn’t he show any restraint? Any sympathy for him was immediately lost.

"I'm going to hit the bathroom. After that we can go talk to the cafe owner," Nathan told them after glancing at the clock. Audrey nodded in response. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and left without making eye contact with Duke.

His footsteps echoed in the empty hallway. He wondered which bathroom Duke would end up using. It was a common question for some people. He had his own issues, but gender had never been one. He was a guy and that made sense to him. One of the few things that he knew for sure. He opened the door to find the bathroom deserted and went over to the urinal. He opened his pants and reached in, bending forward so he could see what he was grabbing for. Muscle memory could be a bit tricky so he always watched so he wouldn’t have any accidents. He couldn’t see what he was grabbing for so he sighed. He needed a better visual so he went into the stall for some privacy. His trouble had to be one of the most humiliating.

Nathan went into one of the stalls and tugged his pants down to his knees. He still didn’t see anything. His heart was pounding as he bent his legs and did his best to curl in two. All he could see was a smooth pubic mound with the usual course, brown hair and then nothing. This had to be the trouble, which should be a comfort, but it wasn’t. If this didn’t get fixed he’d never have sex again. He finally found a woman he wanted to be with, a woman he could feel and he lost what he needed to be with her. Would she be able to look at him the same after this? Still, she was the one he wanted when he found his voice again.

“Audrey!” Nathan cried stumbling backwards and slamming the stall door open. He held his pants closed with one hand then opened the door to the bathroom with the other. “Audrey!”

Audrey came racing down the hall, her blond hair flying wildly. Duke was right behind her, bouncing like a girl on Baywatch. At least now Nathan knew he wasn’t reacting to it.

“What happened?” Audrey asked panicked. She took a step towards the door and Duke followed.

“Just Audrey,” Nathan said glaring at Duke.

Duke put his hands up and took a step back. Nathan met Audrey’s eyes and wondered if he should even let her in. The words “Does she know you're not a real boy?” echoed in his head. He was emasculated on a level no one could understand. He backed up and Audrey walked in. She was searching the room for signs of danger, but he knew there weren’t any.

“Nathan,” she said as she saw nothing obvious was happening, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s...um…” he said his voice catching in his throat. How do you tell your girlfriend you were an eunuch?

She said his name again and touched his arm, “You can tell me anything.”

Could he? Well, it seemed he would have to, but he didn’t have to use words. He opened his pants and turned his face to the ceiling. He didn’t want to see her reaction. He could hear it though. She gasped and took a step back. She was staring now, he just knew it. He saw the top of her head as she was bending down to get a closer look. He must be as blank as Ken doll. This was humiliating.

“Can I pull your pants down further?” she asked and Nathan forced himself to look at her only to see pleading eyes, “Please?”

He nodded with his eyes closed. She tugged them down and they fell to his ankles. Audrey gasped again, louder this time.

“Woah, that’s a-,” she said then put a hand on his hip. The touch felt sharp and brought him into focus. He took in a quick breath before brushing her hand off. He couldn’t handle the sensation right now.

“A vagina,” came a third voice. Duke’s head was poking in around the bathroom door and his eyes were huge. “At least we know where the rest of me went.”

Nathan panicked and belatedly tried to pull up his pants. He couldn’t get a grip on them, so Audrey helped him pull them up and blocked the view. Nathan couldn’t wrap his head around what Duke had said. He was a woman? He glanced in the mirror and saw his usual face, even with hints of stubble on his cheeks. Nothing else had changed. He hadn’t felt any change. Who knows how long he’d been walking around like this? He should know when a piece of him was missing, but he was such a freak that he had no idea. He was bitter and embarrassed, finding it hard to face either of them.

“Give me a minute,” Nathan said and Audrey went to speak, but he held up a finger, “Please.”

She took a careful step back and left, pushing Duke out with her. The door closed and Nathan wedged a trashcan under the handle. He needed some privacy.

Hesitantly his fingers went to his pants and he pushed them off. He kicked one boot off so he could slip his leg out. He put one foot on the counter, effectively spreading his legs. The mirror was high, but Nathan was tall enough he could see what Duke and Audrey had seen. There was a slit between his legs with two puffy lips poking through. His heart stopped and a psychosomatic chill ran through his whole body.

His hand went down and he ran his fingers between the folds. He couldn’t feel any of it, but he was had a good view. It was sexy, but hard to realize it was really on his body. One finger sank deep inside of himself, up to the second knuckle. He didn’t risk going further and drew his finger away carefully. The last thing he wanted was to go to the hospital to get stiches there.

He brought his wet fingers up to his nose, breathing deep. It was a musky, feminine scent. Had watching him finger himself somehow aroused him? It was bizarre. He hesitated before putting his fingers into his mouth. The taste was amazing, sweet with hints of bitter and salt. His breathing grew heavy and his new scent was filling the room. He closed his legs, pulling his pants back up. This was so wrong. He tightened his belt as much as he dared. It would have been painful for anyone else, but he couldn't risk them falling. He washed his hands then slipped his shoe back on and left to rejoin his friends.

“You can stay here if you want. I mean if you're uncomfortable,” Audrey said putting her hand on his shoulder. The pressure felt nice, like seeing a light in the fog. He leaned close to her, putting a hand on her cheek.

“No, it’s fine,” he lied. It wasn’t fine. He didn’t feel right. He was terrified Duke was going to pull down his pants and expose his new secret to everyone. The fear of Duke’s bullying was a knee jerk reaction. He knew that Duke wouldn’t do that. The man was reckless, but they had a bizarre kinship these days. He trusted Duke, even if he never said it. Speaking of...

“Where’s Duke?” he asked noticing his absence. Audrey motioned over to traffic cop’s desk where Duke was leaning in. Duke’s breasts spilled out of his half unbuttoned top and his loose jeans hugged his tight ass. The way he was flirting with the cop, even with his new female face, was too easy. Duke’s dark eyes were smoky and he was biting his lip. It was sexy and Nathan’s breath caught in his throat. Duke turned to him and gave a flirty wink as he came over. Duke was swaying his hips and giving Nathan some serious bedroom eyes. Duke, the very female Duke, was tempting him. It made him feel special and wanted. Then he remembered Duke had acted the same way with the random desk jockey. Nathan's jaw clench and he did his best to ignore the other man.

“Okay, let’s do this,” Audrey said going over and collecting Duke. Nathan followed, but a few steps behind.


	3. You think I'm pretty

“We’ll need a copy of all your credit card receipts from this morning,” Audrey told the portly cafe owner whose friendly face was drawn with concern.

“Of course. Just give me a minute,” she said scurrying into the back. 

Nathan was restless as they waited. He hadn’t spoken on the trip over. He was terrified they would bring it up again. Once they got out of the car he got more uncomfortable. It was like everyone who looked at him could tell what had changed. He couldn’t stay still and had trouble meeting anyone’s eyes. He wasn’t looking at Duke, whose condition just reminded him of his own. Audrey kept trying to take his arm, but he brushed her off. He didn’t want to feel anything right now.

There was an awkward silence as they waited, a tension in the air that even Nathan could feel.

“Hey,” Duke said and Nathan forced himself to look at the new pretty face. Duke didn’t say anything, just motioned to the door. Nathan sighed then followed Duke outside. Once they were on the street Duke turned on him.

“Would you calm down?” Duke said closing the space between them so he could whisper.

“I am calm,” he said looking out towards the street. He was not talking about this with Duke. He went to go back in, but his arm didn’t follow. He saw Duke’s small hand circling it and stopped before he did any damage. 

“You are and it’s reasonable to be upset right now-”

“I’m not upset,” Nathan lied.

“You have a shitty poker face,” Duke told him and then let him go, “Listen, I know we’re not always on the same page, but we’re in this together. What changed on you doesn’t make you any less of a man.”

“Actually, it does. The whole definition is based on that.”

“Do you know nothing about transsexuality?” Duke asked with a huff. 

“This isn’t the same.”

“Can’t you relax and try and enjoy it? I mean sure you can’t feel it, but if you get Audrey to-”

“We’re not talking about that.”

Although Nathan had thought about it. Experiencing a female orgasm would be intense, but he didn’t know how to bring that up with Audrey. He couldn’t force her into something she wasn’t comfortable with. Who wanted to be with a man in his condition? He should know better, they had gone through worse. It was his experiences that made him bitter and cynical about the woman he loved. He wanted to trust her, but it still felt like a risk. 

“Okay, okay, fine, but stop acting like you’re a wounded puppy. I don’t even look like myself anymore. It’s way more off putting than I’m letting on, but I’m dealing” Duke said the masking slipping off his face. He stared into a near by window and touched his face. “This is body switching weird, but we can get through it.”

“At least you're pretty,” Nathan said blandly.

“You think I’m pretty?” Duke asked with a roguish smile.

Audrey burst out from the shop, the bell over the door jingling her approach. She was holding a list of names and addresses, reading them as she walked. Nathan let out a relieved sigh. 

“We’ve got the list, but it’s over ten names. Plus there were more people that paid in cash. Considering the median age of this town, it could be as many as two dozens. It’s a start, but we need to narrow it down,” she said then glanced between them. She must have seen something their eyes, because her eyebrows drew together, causing wrinkles on her forehead. 

“Like you said, it’s a start,” Nathan confirmed quickly to avoid any personal questions, “We can all take a piece of the list and interview everyone who was at the cafe.”

“And ask them what exactly? Ever wish everyone around you was genderswapped?” Duke asked, “We need a better suspect pool before we go knocking on doors.”

They weren’t going to fix this today. He knew Audrey could do it eventually, but he was impatient to have his body whole again. 

“Is that what I think it is?” Duke asked nudging Audrey. 

Both of them looked across the street into the the coffee shop. Dwight was talking to the man over the counter. The younger man was smiling at whatever he said. Two kids were running about while their absentee mother was getting her caffeine fix. A man in his fifties was reading the Haven Herald as he sipped at a cup of steaming coffee. 

“I don’t see anything...weird,” Audrey said a hand over her eyes shielding them from the sun. Nathan grunted in agreement.

“For detectives both of you suck at recognizing flirting,” Duke said crossing his arms, “Look at Dwight.”

“He’s talking to a guy,” Nathan argued. When he started really paying attention Dwight was acting odd. He was leaning in, smiling more than normal and the man was giving him sheepish grins back. He’d never gotten any gay vibe from Dwight, but who knows? Maybe he liked both and just covered it up really well. It was Haven, that wasn’t the oddest thing to happen.

“This really isn’t any of our business,” Audrey said pretending to be looking down at the paperwork. 

“You guys are just going to accept that? That is super weird. Dwight isn’t gay. He’d never once checked me out-”

“Duke,” Nathan said not about to listen to his bragging.

“Hear me out. What if that’s part of the trouble to? What if some sexually confused kid struggling with their gender identity is having some sort of projection trouble?” Duke suggested talking fast in his excitement. Audrey echoed it and was nearly jumping with joy as pieces started fitting together.

“He was at the cafe too. Dwight stopped by to give us some paper work. So he could have been affected. If we’re right that would narrow down our suspects.”

“Who worries about that sort of stuff?” Nathan asked feeling out of his depth.

“Someone young is more likely to have those sorts of insecurities so we should look for someone under twenty-five. A guy is more likely to have insecurities. We’ll go type these cards into our records and see fits into both categories,” Audrey suggested and her boys agreed. Nathan was so relieved. This was going to work out. They were going to fix it and possibly before sundown. 

Two cell phones buzzed in unison and the detectives checked them. There was an emergency alert about a man found dead in a dress, possible homicide.


	4. The connection snapped

It hadn’t been a murder. It was a suicide. A woman had been turned into a man and hadn’t been able to handle it. She’d jumped off the fire escape with a noose on her neck. Her friend had tried to stop her. The friend had left prints all over her body and walked away in a state of shock. The prints, the struggle and two sets of footprinted pointed to possible homicide. They had wasted the rest of the day on trying to figure that out. By the time they finished it was dark and the chance to do any interviews long past.

They retired back to Audrey’s apartment. Duke joined them in order to grab some ‘proper clothing’. Nathan was sitting on the couch with Audrey leaning into him. She was warm, almost too warm, but he didn't tell her to move. The discomfort was nice compared to the nothingness he suffered with. He buried his nose into her hair and tried to ignore the sound of Duke complaining behind the privacy curtain.

Audrey put her hand over his open palm and started drawing patterns. Her fingers blazed feeling over his skin. He should be used to it by now, but he wasn’t. His heart raced and he shifted in his seat, frustrated by how little touch there was. He wanted to press her naked skin against his. To feel the world come alight with every inch of Audrey. He broke the thought by remembering what was wrong with him. He couldn’t make love to her right now no matter how much he wanted to.

The bedroom door opened and Duke walked out, shaky on borrowed heels. He’d taken one of Audrey’s more revealing dresses and made it worse. He’d rolled the bottom and put it under a belt, leaving maybe two inches of cloth below his ass. The top was meant to be worn with a camisole, but Duke had forgone that. His full breasts were pushed up, spilling cleavage over the top of the black lace. Nathan’s mouth went dry. It was vulgar, but it worked. Just the confidence that Duke walked in it and how shamelessly he let his skirt flip up. Each step exposed a bit more pale skin. He wanted to watch his fingers touch those smooth thighs. He didn't care if he could feel them.

Audrey gasped in astonishment. She pulled her hand away and left Nathan in his bleak, touchless world again. It was enough to wake him out of his haze.

“What are you wearing?” she demanded as she got up.

“My ‘I want free drinks’ dress,” Duke said doing a circle to show off the whole outfit. The skirt flared, exposing more black lace. Where those Audrey’s?

“You’re not going out dressed like that,” Audrey scolded.

“Sorry, mom, but I am,” Duke said already going to the door. Audrey didn’t move to stop him, but turned to watch his progress.

“Listen, Duke, this is a small town. Anyone finds out that you’re…” she said then motioned vaguely at him, “Different it could be dangerous.”

“It’s Haven. Trans hate is the least of our worries,” Duke said opening the door and grabbing his borrowed purse.

“Are you still sleeping on the couch?” Audrey asked as she watched worriedly.

“Unless I go home with someone else.”

“Duke!”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

They had already had this conversation. Audrey wanted them both close in case the trouble got worse. He wasn't sure how that would happen. Still considering most troubles were deadly, it was a smart idea. Duke wanted to go out dancing. After some fighting they settled a curfew.

“Midnight or I turn into a pumpkin, I know, I know,” Duke said then left.

Audrey went over to the window and watched, rubbing a necklace between her fingers. Nathan went behind her, circling his arms around her waist. He caught sight of the beautiful form swaying down the stairs and then closed his eyes. He put his nose into Audrey’s hair again and let the softness of it distract him.

“He’ll be okay,” Nathan told her.

“She’s never looked like a woman before. Things are different,” Audrey argued. The use of the female pronoun being applied to Duke seemed wrong. First off, Duke had always been a he. Secondly, Duke had more of a claim to the masculine than Nathan did at the moment.

“We gave him mace,” Nathan said trying to shrug off his own worries. There was something about Duke’s overconfidence that always made him nervous. What if something did happen? Well, that’d be his own damn fault. Duke shouldn’t have been tempting fate like this. Nathan wanted to be angry with him, but he was more anxious for him to come back safe.

“We should make dinner,” Audrey said once Duke was out of sight. Nathan mumbled his agreement.

They made pan thai without talking. The silence was much more comfortable than it had been on the drive to the cafe. Making food with his girlfriend. Tasting ingredients she offered to him with a wooden spoon. Spiling sauce on the counter and daring one another to lick it up. He imagined it was like how other couples felt all the time. Loved, safe, quiet without any outside thoughts or world ending worries on their mind. They moved around each other easily, finding a rhythm that was meant for just them.

Dinner went just as smoothly. They joked, laughed and Nathan forgot they were in the middle of another trouble. It just felt like any other Tuesday. It was Tuesday, wasn’t it? When dinner was done they cleaned up. They washed up together just as they had made dinner together. Working in easy harmony. Nathan had never felt something like being around Audrey Parker. They were so close they didn’t have to ask each other things. A silent understanding cloaked everything they did. She was smiling and chatting, not minding when he didn’t join in. She knew his limits, his comforts, his desires without having to be told. Which was why when she said what he’d been dreading there was a hint of anticipation in her voice.

“We should go to bed. We need to get up early tomorrow.”

“I don’t have to share the bed with you if this is too weird,” Nathan offered.

“And do what? Share the couch with Duke? Maybe you would like that. I saw the way you were looking at her in that dress,” Audrey teased. She’d seen him looking. Guilt settled heavy over his heart. He worried she’d be upset with him despite her tease. Nathan’s face went blank and he turned his back to her so he could dry off his hands.

“Audrey...” he said uneasily, not sure how he wanted to finish that statement yet.

“I’m sorry,” she said taking his hand again and squeezing it, “Bad joke. Really bad joke. But, seriously, I don’t sleep as well when I can’t hear you breathing beside me. So, please, sleep with me.”

“Okay,” Nathan said giving in- as he always did - to her.

She lead him by the hand to the bed. Nathan could hear his heart thumping in his ears and worried she could do. He shouldn’t be so apprehensive. They slept together every night these days, but this was different. One thing was very different. He thought he could smell something new on the air, but refused to acknowledge it. Audrey started getting changed when she got to her dresser. Every night Nathan watched, but he was too nervous to look her way. He tugged off his jeans, but left his boxers on. He grabbed his pajama pants and pulled them on over his boxers. It wasn’t uncomfortable or warm for him, so he didn’t mind the extra layer. He stripped off his work shirt and put on a undershirt instead.

Wearing a modest pair of flannel pajamas Audrey slipped into bed. She patted the spot beside her. Nathan got in. She snuggled in close, putting her chin on her shoulder and wrapping an arm around him. She was still warm to the touch, her skin slightly sweaty under his fingers.

They laid in awkward silence for a while. Neither was able to ignore the ‘what if’ that lingered between them. After a few minutes Audrey pulled away and went to her side of the bed to sleep. Nathan found it hard to get to sleep if he could feel something. It was too foreign and exciting for him. They cuddled before sleeping, but they always went to sleep on different sides of the mattress.

Was this it? They were just going to go to sleep? It was barely after ten. They had almost two hours before Duke would interrupt them. Was this what he wanted? It had seemed like such a good idea. Now that he was laying here, Nathan found himself curious. If he’d been able to feel anything he would have touched himself by now. Instead all he had was an awkward memory of seeing himself in the station’s bathroom mirror.

He couldn’t ask Audrey for that. It wasn’t fair to her. She already put up with so much with him. She tested the temperature of the coffee before he drank it. She warned him if something had a sharp edge. She’d never once complained. She accepted him no matter what. Would this be the same? Did he have the confidence to find out? No, he didn’t. He turned away from her, digging his head into his pillow. He couldn’t say a thing and that was okay.

“Nathan?” Audrey’s voice was small as if afraid he might be asleep.

“Yea?” he hoarsely croaked out.

“Do you,” she started then flopped over so she was facing him, “Want to explore?”

His mouth dropped open. He hadn’t thought she’d be the one to bring it up. Curiosity gleamed in her eyes as he watched her edge closer.

“You don’t have to,” he told her, not wanting anything to happen out of guilt, “Do you even like…” He let the sentence trail of. Maybe Duke was right. They were both like grade schoolers about some things.

“Lexie did,” Audrey assured him, “And it isn’t about that. It’s you, Nathan. I love you. No matter what I want to be with you.”

Her hand touched his cheek, fingers playing over his skin. His eyes rolled up into his head and he forgot his arguments against this. There was just her finger tips rubbing across his lips. A now familiar rush of endorphins told him his whole body was reacting. Normally that meant he was getting an erection, but now it was different. To his astonishment he realized he must be getting wet. Shame almost made him pull away, but Audrey leaned in for a kiss. Her soft lips soothed his worries and he let his hands roam over her hip.

She climbed on top of him and her weight felt impossibly heavy. He wasn’t used to feeling pressure, but it was a good sort of overwhelming. His hands went under her top, trailing her hands up to her breasts. She’d taken off her bra for bed and he cupped her bare skin in his hand. She moaned for him, music filling his ears. She was excited, her nipples already a hard pebble between his fingers. She paused their kiss to pull off both their tops. Her torso met his eyes and it was like the world was suddenly in focus. Her hands were all over his chest, drawing nonsensical pattern. She knew he loved any sort of touch and indulged him whenever she could. Her hand found the drawstring of his pants and paused.

“Can I?” she asked, her eyes meeting his as her nose brushed against his.

“It’s weird,” he warned her, tension returning to his face.

“From what I saw it was beautiful,” Audrey assured before kissing him again. He let himself get lost in their embrace. He barely noticed it when she pulled his pants and boxers down. He lifted his hips for her and soon enough they were off.

“Slow,” he warned her and she nodded in understanding.

Her hand had a more direct route this time, but she was taking her time. He froze when she got to his pelvis bone and she played there a bit until he relaxed. She was so good to him. The safe zone was broken as her fingers crossed the empty spot where his cock should be. She didn’t linger there, dipping deeper between his thighs. He cried out as she hit something that made his whole body jolt. She moved it in a little further and he could feel an odd flap of skin shifting under her fingers. How weird that was didn’t matter when he felt the shots of electricity coming from it. It was like the tip of his cock, only more concentrated. Everything was swollen and sensitive. She rubbed her fingers downwards he realized how slippery it was. A single finger pressed at his entrance and then slipped inside. He could feel the walls inside of him now. More pleasure invaded his mind as she worked her finger in and out. His back arched, as if trying to push her further inside.

“Oh my god,” he gasped, staring blankly at the ceiling. She added a second fingerand he grabbed onto bedsheets he couldn’t feel. There was something inside that when she hit it just right, it made his vision go blurry. It was so different than what he was used to, but he liked it. He squirmed and arched off the bed. He knew that he must look like a woman in the throws of passion more than a man getting off. It didn’t matter. His breathing was coming out in labored pants and he was a bit scared of what was building. It felt big, bigger than what he was used to.

Suddenly her fingers were gone. His eyes flew open and she soothed him with a sound. She shifted, getting lower and lower on his body. She started kissing a path down and he understood. His full attention was on her as Audrey made her way between his legs. Her tongue was warm and soft on his clit. He moaned, forcing himself to watch as Audrey ran her tongue over his new sex. She groaned, vibrating her mouth against him. His whole body went stiff and he realized he was holding his breath. He let it out and then trembled as Audrey hit that spot inside of him again with her fingers. His legs locked around her head to keep her close as her fingers rocked back and forth.

He was on the edge of something he couldn’t name. The pleasure that spread from his core was overwhelming. He knew without knowing that he was going to orgasm. He was at the point of no return when the door opened.

“You guys will never believe - ,” Duke started from the distance then went silent.

It didn’t matter. Nathan was there, tumbling over the edge of orgasm. For a blissful moment nothing mattered. His body curled inward the moment before the orgasm hit than sprang out at the release. He whimpered then screamed as pure pleasure surged through his brain. His arms and legs twitched helplessly. His face twisted without shame as it only can mid orgasm. He rode out the twitches and the way his body lurched as he came down from the high. He’d never felt anything like that before.

There was something he should be panicked about, Nathan remembered after the heat was over. Something that had terrified him. Memory came back to him in a flash and he sat up. Duke was still staring at him like a deer caught in headlights.

Duke Crooker had seen him orgasm. He wanted to die. Nothing else in his life could make this okay. The fact he’d been experimenting with his new girl parts only made it worse. It was one thing for Audrey to know, but Duke would never let him live it down. The man could mock for years and Nathan would know.

Nathan sprang alive when he realized that Audrey was topless. He grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her like a makeshift shawl. She giggled, having obviously not heard Duke come in. Then she turned enough to see him and yelped, pulling the blanket close. Nathan scrambled to get the other end over his groin.

“Duke! You were supposed to be gone until midnight,” Audrey said as if this was somehow Duke’s fault. Nathan would have to disagreed. While Duke was at fault for a lot of things, them getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar was on them. They should have locked the door.

“I, um, couldn’t stay in a bar. I kept getting carded,” Duke stuttered out as if it still mattered.

“You want to turn around or something?” Audrey asked through gritted teeth.

“Sure I can do that,” Duke said going to, but pausing as he made eye contact with Nathan. Something changed in Duke’s face. Something that called to Nathan deep down. Duke was staring him in the eyes now and he had his usual swagger back. Duke sauntered forward.

“Duke,” Audrey said as Duke got closer, “This isn’t funny.”

Duke got right next to the bed and Nathan sat up to meet him. He was drawn to that beautiful face, to the eyes that lusted for him. Duke reached out an elegant hand and traced the path of Nathan’s jawline. Nathan couldn’t feel it, but he could smell Duke’s skin. He let out a groan deep in his throat.

“Do you really want to die without knowing what it’s like?” Duke asked as he leaned down towards the bed. His head was angled as if he was going to kiss Nathan.

The “no” should come easy, but it was like thinking through a fog. It was wrong, he knew it was wrong, but it sounded so good right now. Maybe trying something new wasn’t so bad. Maybe it could be exciting. What if he liked it? Nothing in the world seemed to matter that much. All his worries melted away and all he could see was those perfect lips coming towards him.

“I don’t know.”

“I can show you.”

When Duke was finally close enough their lips touched. For Nathan it felt like kissing solid air. There was nothing, just like he always felt. Not like the bright array of sensations with Audrey, but a cold emptiness. Taste flooded his mouth, making it real again. His mouth tasted like cheap vodka, bar food and something that was more primal. He could smell the aftershave on his cheeks and see how he was reacting if he kept his eyes open. Not an easy task.

“Guys,” came a distant, feminine voice, “This isn’t right.”

It didn’t matter. Duke was crawling on top of him and pinning him down. There was no weight this time, no pressure, but it didn’t matter. He could see those beautiful legs wrapped around his hips. Duke’s hands were all over his chest and then pinned his arms down. Duke was staring at him with dark eyes, familiar and yet so full of desire.

They started to kiss again. This time Nathan let his eyes close and enjoyed the scents and taste of having him so close.

“Stop it,” Audrey commanded half heartedly, but they ignored her.His eyes opened again and he saw her watching them motionless. Her eyes were big, her cheeks flushed and her breathing uneven. It was a look he knew well.

They shifted and the blanket came off of him, but he didn’t care. He felt sexy. He was being pressed against the mattress by someone who hungered for him. Duke’s hand was down, between his legs a moment later. No jolt this time, but it still made the whole room smell of sex. He broke the kiss so he could watch Duke reaching between his leg with long, feminine fingers. Someone grabbed Duke from behind and dragged him away. Nathan sat up like a shot and tried to grab for him. A woman in a bathrobe was still pulling him further. It was like living a nightmare. Nathan could see the bulge under the short skirt and felt a shot of desire. It doubled when he saw Duke licking his fingers and he almost cried out for mercy.

“I was wrong.” Audrey said, “This was a bad idea. You have to go home.”

“What? Why?” Duke demanded still staring longfully at Nathan. Nathan got up to go to him and Duke’s smile grew wider, arms outstretched.

Audrey pushed Duke towards the door. The connection snapped. Whatever had made them desperately need each other like that was suddenly gone. Nathan raced back to the bed and the safety of his covers but the damage was done. Duke was rubbing his lip, but not spitting or making gagging sounds. Nathan wouldn’t have put that beyond him. At least what Nathan had been kissing was the beautiful face of a virtual stranger. Duke had had to look at Nathan’s real face the whole time.

“I mean it,” Audrey said pushing a coat into Duke’s arms, “You have to get out of here before the trouble starts up again.”

“A trouble, right,” Duke said slipping his coat on, pulling it tight across herself, “Right.” He glanced back at Nathan once more time before sprinting out the door.

“Are you okay?” Audrey asked, rushing over to him. She put her hands on his cheeks and a rush of sensation came over him. He could feel just how hot his cheeks were too. He was flushed, but was that from the desire or the humiliation?

“I don’t know,” he said his voice trembling. He brought a hand up to his face and saw it shaking as well.

“Do you need to talk about it?” she asked sitting beside him.

“No. I just want to go to sleep,” he said although he knew sleep was light years away.

She didn’t press him, not yet. She just stroked his hair back from his forehead and then helped him lay down. He pulled the blanket close and went into the fetal position. What the hell had just happened? What had started as one of the best experiences of his life had ended with being groped by Duke. Hell, they had gotten to third base.

“Hey, Audrey?”

“Yeah?”

“Is the door locked?”

Without a word she got up and turned the deadbolt.


	5. Two in one day

At the station in the morning there was disquiet in the air. Nathan hadn’t slept much at all. He was downing a cup of coffee, but it wasn’t helping to clear his head. The phantom scent of aftershave had been haunting him all morning. Duke hadn’t met them at the station. Maybe that was for the best. Audrey was leaning on his desk, arms crossed as she looked over a file. Nathan hoped she wasn’t as twisted up as he was. One of them needed to be thinking about the case

Dwight walked into the office. He quietly shut the door behind him. His eyes were downcast. His hands kept rubbing together like he was trying to start a small fire.

“Dwight,” Audrey said a note of worry in her tone.

“There is something going on isn’t there?” Dwight asked, “A trouble?”

Nathan jumped. How had he known? Could Dwight tell just by looking at him? His paranoia was unfounded, but overwhelming. He felt like Duke’s lipstick still stained on his lips.

“Yeah,” Audrey said walking over to their friend. She didn’t touch him, but she got close. She waited until he met her eyes and then she smiled. Nathan knew that smile could disarm the best of men. Dwight was no match. “What’s going on?”

“Last night...” he started then motioned with is head to the young man outside. It was the guy from the coffee shop. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Did you sleep with him?” Audrey asked as delicately as she could.

Dwight didn’t answer at first, but he ran his hand over his face. He sighed and clenched his jaw, before finally nodding.

“I’ve never….I’m not,” Dwight insisted uneasy.

“It’s okay. Someone is messing with people,” Audrey said putting a hand on his arm.

“I don’t know what to say to him. He’s such a nice guy, but it's a bit awkward now,” Dwight said glancing back at the window.

“You don’t have to say anything. We’ll go talk to him. Explain what’s going on,” Audrey promised. She went to the door and Nathan followed her. He didn’t pass too close to Dwight. They both needed space.

“One thing,” Nathan said before leaving, “What time did all this happen?”

Dwight balked at the question, but answered regardless, “About half past ten.”

Nathan nodded. That was the same time that Duke had come into the room last night.

The young man was examining one of the newspaper clippings on the wall. It was the one announcing Dwight’s raise to chief of police. The man was thin with short, spiky black hair and pale skin, like he rarely went out the sun. He wore a leather jacket, tight jeans and a band t-shirt. He couldn’t have been more than twenty-eight. Nathan wouldn’t have thought that would be Dwight’s type.

“Hey,” Audrey said and the young man turned. His cheeks were bright red, as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t.

“Hi,” he said warily.

“I’m Detective Audrey Parker and this is my partner Nathan. We have a few questions we want to ask you. What’s your name?”

“I’m Luke,” he said like he was ready to bolt, “Why? What do you want to ask me?”

“It’s about Dwight,” Audrey explained. The boy’s face fell.

“He’s been acting really weird. I’ve dated guys in the closet before, but he literally ran away from me this morning,” Luke said sounding insulted. Nathan didn’t blame him. This whole thing was confusing.

“Luke, do you know anything about the troubles?” Audrey asked in a measured tone.

“Yeah,” he said then crossed his arms, “I’ve got one. Is this about that? I saw Dwight’s tattoo. He is too.”

“Wait, you're troubled?” Nathan asked. Could it really be that easy?

“Yeah,” Luke said defensively, “When my family sneezes we stop time for sixty second. We stay away from pepper and it’s mostly okay.”

Nope, it wasn’t that easy. That trouble had nothing to do with genderswapping or Dwight’s sudden affinity for men.

“People are changing into the opposite gender. Making them question their sexuality. Do you know anyone in the community who might be doing this?” he asked.  
It took Luke a moment to figure it out and his mouth dropped open.

“Oh god,” Luke said looking at Dwight’s forlorn face and then taking a step back. The kid was starting to figure out this wasn’t normal. He went to leave and Nathan grabbed his arm.

“We need an answer,” Nathan told him.

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I can’t think right now,” Luke said panicked. The guilt was eating him alive. He pulled out of Nathan’s grasp and started walking out the door. They rushed after him, but didn’t stop him.

“Please, just think,” Audrey begged, trying to break through his panic.

“I can’t. Do you know what this means? I think I took advantage of a great guy. I should have known better. Guys like that don’t hit on me," Luke said sitting down on a bench outside.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. He was afflicted by a trouble. It was no one’s fault,” Audrey said putting a comforting hand on Luke’s back. Her comforting words echoed in his head. What had happened last night wasn’t Nathan's fault either. He shouldn’t feel bad, but he did. He had liked it. The memory still made him uncomfortable, but stirred up more welcome feelings too.

“But do you know anyone who's been confused lately? Maybe someone coming to terms with their sexuality?” Nathan asked. There was silence. Nathan worried that Luke would start crying. Finally, the man’s voice croaked back into action.

“My cousin, Luna, has been dating this guy for a few months. It was going great, but he found out about her a few days ago. She’s still got a few surgeries together before she’s all girl, if you know what I mean,” Luke explained.

“Wait, your cousin is a transexual?”

“Yea, but this isn’t our trouble. We don’t make guy’s gay. I'd know.”

“The guy she was dating how did he take it? He might be questioning himself, his sexuality, right?”

“Well, not anymore,” Luke said with a smug little grin, “Last night they worked things out from what I hear. I told her to say something intriguing. Just ask him if he wanted to die without knowing.”

Nathan knew those words. Audrey turned to him and he couldn’t met her gaze.

“Where is your cousin and her boyfriend now?” Audrey asked.

Luke made a call to his cousin and gave them an address to follow up with. They got into the old, blue Ford and Nathan started the truck, then drove off. Audrey tried to talk to him, but Nathan shut down. He didn’t want to talk about any of it. Luke had known the exact words that Duke had spoken last night. That meant everything had been started by a trouble. That should be comforting, but it wasn’t. How he’d felt last night had been good. He liked it. Just thinking about it made his heart race. Was that just more of the trouble? It had to be. He didn’t want to think about any other answer.

They stopped at the apartments and found the one on the address. They knocked on the door and heard giggling from the other side. A woman came and opened it. She was pretty, blond with brown eyes and tan skin. She was tall, a few inches taller than Audrey, but she was dainty. She was wearing a white, silky bathrobe held closed by a sash. This must be Luke’s cousin, but Nathan would never have guessed that she’d once been a man.

“Can I help you?” she asked with a high pitched voice.

“We’re looking for Martin,” Nathan said flashing he the badge at his hip.

Nervously she looked over her shoulder, “Hey Martin. Someone wants to talk to you. It’s the cops.”

Nathan tensed, ready for the young man to run. Instead he rushed to the door. He was shirtless with a pair of rumbled jeans on. His brown hair was messy and his brown eyes still bloodshot from sleep. He was about Nathan’s age which was surprising. That was a bit older than their suspect pool.

“What’s going on? What happened? Is anyone hurt?” he asked if he expected someone to have happened. His concern was well warranted given this was Haven. At least he wasn’t acting guilty.

“No one’s hurt. We’re with Haven PD. I’m Audrey and this is Nathan. We have a few questions for you. You’re Martin right?” 

He opened the door further and waved them in. The guard tattoo was a stark contrast against his pale skin. The guy was definitely troubled. They walked into the small apartment and closed the door behind them. Martin was trying to keep himself together, but frayed at the edges.

“What’s going on?” he asked apprehensively.

“Um, people are changing. About um…” Nathan said then wished that Duke was here to be brash. So, for one terrible moment the pretended he was Duke. “Their genders are switching. People are sexually experimenting when they never considered it before. Dogs are turning half into cats. Does this make any sense to you?”

“This is my fault,” Martin said, putting his face into his hands. Two troubled individuals who knew what was going on in one day? It had to be a record.

“This happened before when I was seven. My dad was a stay at home dad and my mom was management at a big corporation. The kids at school told me that moms were supposed to stay home and dads work. Without meaning too I changed them, because I was confused. I was at my friend’s house and my parents switched genders. They did exactly what I thought regular parents should do. My father, then female version, made my mom dinner. My mom came home male and watched a football game. She doesn’t even like football. They knew something was wrong at first, but then it became a compulsion. They couldn’t help it. Found out they did exactly what I saw my friend’s parents do.”

“So, if you get confused your trouble makes the world what you think it should be. How did you fix it?” Audrey asked getting closer.

“My dad told me the only way to fix our trouble is to permanently change someone or something else. It has to be related. Let’s say I switched an apple and an orange. I’d have to switch a banana into a orange to change the original two back. Back when I young I had to turn my little sister into my little brother. He never knew. Still doesn’t. We didn’t tell him. He was only two months old at the time, so that wasn’t so bad. Dad said that I had to confuse someone else to fix what confused me.”

“So, when you found out Luna was different you got confused. How did you affect only some people and not everyone?”

“I have to think about them for it to work,” Martin explained.

“You were at the cafe two days ago,” Nathan guessed.

Martin paused, studying Nathan’s face. He froze as he recognized the officer and his eyes went wide. He mouthed ‘oh shit’.

“Yes,” Martin said tucking his head, “I was talking with my friend. I was upset. I saw some people sitting at the table, you both, I think and pointed each of you out. I swear we talked about gender the whole time we were there. You have to understand I didn’t know I was...active again,” Martin said gritting his teeth.

“But you can fix it if you find someone else to change,” Audrey said hopefully.

“Yeah, but no one is going to volunteer. I mean maybe I could get away with changing a baby again. Who's going to let me do that?” Martin asked desperately. He was feeling the weight of what he had done. Nathan had seen that look on dozen of troubled people.

“I will,” Luna said from the other side of the room where she had been listening. She walked over and then sat down by Martin. She took his hand and then kissed it. “I’ll let you change me.”

“No, no I can’t do that. I’m okay with it now. I swear. We had so much fun last night,” Martin said a twinkle in his eyes. Luna blushed and looked down, blond hair brushing over her delicate features. The mention of last night made Nathan tense. He didn’t want to think about what he’d been doing only twelve hours before.

“You may be okay with it, but I never have been. I’ve felt wrong since I was a child. It would be a blessing for me,” Luna told him. Martin still seemed unsure and Nathan was getting anxious. If Martin didn’t agree who knew how much longer everyone would be like this.

“She wants to change, Martin. It’s a lucky break for both of you. You get to help the woman you care about and cure a trouble all at once,” Audrey encouraged.

Martin seemed to be giving in. He put his hands under Luna’s chin and moved it upwards. They locked eyes and spoke the silent language that lovers develope. Martin’s fear of hurting Luna clear on his face and Luna’s trust shining on hers.

“It’s forever,” Martin warned. Luna giggled.

“I hope so,” she whispered. She rested her forehead against Martin’s. Both of them closed their eyes.

Nathan wordlessly urged them to get it over with. His impatience was getting the best of him. He put his hands on his hips and pursed his lips. Audrey shot him a warning look, but he hadn’t been planning on doing anything.

Nothing happened. It was anticlimactic. Luna opened one eye at a time and then sat back. She shrugged at the detectives then ran her hand over her lap bashfully. She explored further while everyone else tried not pretend not to be paying attention. She gasped and then a smile replaced any worry.

“Oh my god,” she gasped tears glistening in her eyes.

Audrey looked back at Nathan curiously. He knew what question her eyes held, but he didn’t have the answer. He had no idea. He couldn’t tell if he was male or female. It was like a kick in the gut. Sometimes his trouble was more painful than anyone thought.

He walked into the next room without a word and undid his insanely tight belt. It’d left a mark on his stomach this time, which might end up being a bruise. That was okay. It didn’t hurt after all. He opened his boxers and resting there was a familiar sight. He smiled then closed his pants, rejoining the others when he was dressed again. He nodded at Audrey and she grinned.

“Oh, Luna,” Martin said then kissed her, his hands cupping her cheeks

“We should head out,” Audrey said getting off the couch to give them space.

“Good idea,” Nathan agreed. The headed towards the door.

Luna took a deep breath and called after them, “Thank you!”

They went back to the truck and got in. The trouble was over, there had only been one death and the outcome had been favorable. Nathan should be happy, but he still felt a dark cloud over them. It was a hollow victory. The damage had already been done within their own circle. Neither of them called to see if Duke had changed back


	6. Confession

Duke invited them to The Grey Gull three times. He offered drinks and free food to tempt them. Nathan had refused to go each time. He hadn’t actually talked to Duke. Duke went through Audrey. Nathan had shot him down without having to look at him. He didn’t know how long he could avoid Duke, but he couldn’t face him yet. It was all too raw.

Nathan was falsifying reports at his desk while Audrey was getting something to drink. It was quiet. No troubles, no emergencies just parking tickets and backed up paperwork. He wanted to keep busy. Any distraction would be good right now. Instead the town decided to take a few weeks off. Someone knocked on his open door and Nathan looked up. Duke was leaning on the doorway, arms crossed and a little smirk on his face. His handsome face, which let him get away with everything, was back. The beautiful woman from the boat was gone. Dule looked so calm, still full of swagger and confidence. Nathan didn’t feel that way at all. His heart pounded in his ears. He wanted to curl up in a ball and avoid all this.

“We need to talk,” Duke told him.

“No, we don’t,” Nathan said stubbornly going back to his paperwork. He couldn't spell his own name at the moment, but he forced himself to move his pen in circles.

“Nathan,” Duke said and took a step forward, “We do. It can happen here or it can happen on my boat, but it’s happening today. We can’t avoid it for the rest of our lives.”

“We’re not talking about this.”

“We kissed,” Duke said far too loudly for Nathan’s comfort. Nathan stood up so fast his chair scraped against the hardwood floor.

“Would you keep it down?” Nathan snapped. He didn’t need the whole police station to know. He went to close the door and Duke blocked it with his body. Getting any closer to Duke made him uncomfortable, so he didn't push past.

“Here or at my place?” Duke hissed. Nathan glared him down, but Duke wasn’t budging.

“Your place,” he said finally giving in. This had to happen sooner or later. Audrey wasn’t going to let it lay forgotten for long. He had just hoped that they’d give him a month or two. He supposed eight days would have to be enough.

“Eight o’clock,” Duke said poking him in the chest. He turned and repeated the same back to Audrey who was coming back with coffee. Duke stormed out of the police station. Audrey shut the door once they were alone.

“I’m glad you two are going to talk,” Audrey said offering him a cup. He took it and put it down on his desk. If he was going to talk to Duke than he should ask Audrey what he’d been wondering for a while now.

“Aren’t you mad?” Nathan asked as he lowered himself into his chair. Audrey’s eyes squinted and she tilted her head to the side. 

“No, I don’t think so. Why? What’s going on in your head?” she asked coming over and standing by him. Nathan wondered, not for the first time, if she’d been a psychologist at one point.

“It’s nothing,” Nathan said hunching his shoulders and picking up his pen again.

“No,” she insisted, “‘I’ve known you too long. I know when you’re withdrawing. Talk to me.”

“It’s just...shouldn’t you be mad that I kissed someone else?” he asked remembering the heat of jealousy he’d felt when he’d learned about Colorado. This hadn’t just been kissing either. Thinking about that hand going down between his legs made his stomach fill with bewildered butterflies.

“You were affected by a trouble,” Audrey reminded him, but it hadn’t felt that way. It was more like something he wanted than something he was forced to do. He stared at ‘her’ before Martin’s puppetting. He’d oogled ‘her’ in that dress. He wasn’t like that, but he’d been swept up in something.

“I never apologized for it,” Nathan counted.

“You don’t have to apologize for things like that. I don’t expect you too.”

“Maybe I should,” he said letting his head fall back. The ceiling was a safer spot for his eyes than her puzzled face.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said taking his hand and flashing a layer of touch into the world. It wasn’t fair how disarming that was. He took a deep breath and tried to put his head back together.

“If you hadn’t been there we would have had sex,” Nathan said perfectly assured in his prediction. He’d barely admitted that to himself and speaking it just made it feel more real. What else he had to tell her was worse. He put his head into his hands and licked his lips. They weren’t dry, not that he knew of, but the taste of his cherry lip balm was comforting.

“I know,” she said rubbing his back comforting.

“Sometimes I wish you hadn’t been there,” he admitted and her hand went still. He didn’t know what it meant either, but he felt like he’d missed out on something. It was selfish, stupid, but he couldn’t help it. He still wanted to know what had been under that dress and that black lace. He had liked feeling that sexy even in his bizarre state. He’d wanted to drown in those dreamy dark eyes. Those same eyes that he was going to have to met tonight and discuss solutions with.

“And this was after Martin stopped everything?” Audrey asked. Nathan nodded, his eyes slightly blurry. Were there tears in his eyes? Guilt had been riding square on his shoulders since that night. Confessing was a huge relief. “Why?” 

“I don’t know,”he said shaking his head. He’d dreamed about it one night. In the dream they had finished what they stared. Wet dreams weren’t taken seriously, but this one haunted his waking hours.

“It’s okay to be confused. What happened to you isn’t easy to get over,” she said stroking his hair as she searched for the right words.

“It should be. I love you. I shouldn’t be thinking of anyone else,” Nathan said frustrated that none of this made sense.

“You had your one chance to have girly parts and were getting hit on by a beautiful woman. I don’t blame you for wondering about what might have happened. It’s natural to be curious.”

“I’m glad you’re not the jealous type,” Nathan said looking at her with a tight smile. His eyes weren’t watery anymore.

“If it hadn’t been Duke, I might have been,” Audrey said then went back to her desk. She had her own work to do and seemed to think the topic was closed. Nathan felt like the world had been turned on the side. Why wasn’t Audrey jealous of Duke? The question rolled over and over in his mind for hours, but he never got any closer to an answer.

\----

The sun was still out when they got to the Grey Gull. The place was packed with summer tourists. No amount of questionable reviews on the town could keep them away. The sheer amount of deaths should have been a warning sign. Although Haven had the cheapest hotels in the area for that very reason. It wasn’t a high end crowd they attracted, but their money spent as well as any. 

Audrey took his hand and lead him down to the docks, then over to the boat. The first place he’d seen those beautiful eyes with their playful twinkle. Before they got onboard he saw that Duke was sitting on deck with a bottle of scotch. Duke poured himself a shot that he promptly drank it.

“Hey, Audrey? Could you give us a minute?” Duke asked warily. It seemed some of his bravado from the station was gone. Nathan paused mid step. He thought back to his conversation with Audrey at the police station and wondered if she’d told him anything. 

“No problem. I’ll get something to eat. Call me if you need me,” Audrey said without hesitation, “And try not to beat each other up.” She didn’t need to be here for this. This was something they had to work out for themselves. 

“I’m not going to hurt him,” Duke said a little too defensively.

“Couldn’t if you tried,” Nathan reminded him. 

Their eyes met again and both of them knew that that was a lie. Duke poured two shots and motioned Nathan closer. He sat across from the other man and took the shot. He tossed it back fast, the taste sour on his tongue, but when his head started to swim it would be well worth it. Duke was sunken down, his shoulders hunched and his elbows on his legs. His head was down, random strands of hair falling down to cover his face. He wasn’t looking up anymore, just pouring his third shot and taking it slow.

Nathan shifted in his seat, unsure of what to say and not understanding Duke. There wasn’t much that could bother the man. Turning into a woman had been like winning a prize. The silence lingered, broken only by the call of seagulls overhead and the lapping of water into the side of the boat. They rocked gently on the waves as Nathan waited for the world to open up and swallow him. Sadly, it never did.

“I came on pretty strong,” Duke said finally, “I jumped you. Did you feel...I don’t know...forced?

Nathan thought back to that night. His body had given into the unknown so easily. He’d desperately wanted something despite not being able to feel it. He’d just wanted to see it, to watch the female Duke’s face as he felt enough for both of them. 

“No,” Nathan said not begrudging him that comfort. It hadn’t been rape. Not anymore than being controlled by an outside force could be. That seemed to put the wind back in Duke’s sails. He let out the breath he’d been holding and sat back, locking his hands behind his head.

“Then why aren’t you talking to me? I mean what happened doesn’t have to be awkward. So, what, we made out. It’s not the worst thing in the world,” he said far too casually. 

“We didn’t just make out,” Nathan said grabbing a second shot for himself. Could Duke be serious about anything? Nathan felt stupid for how worked up he was. 

“I know,” Duke said . He curled them into a fist, “But we can’t avoid each other forever.”

“No,” he agreed. Between the troubles and Audrey they would be forced back together. Always were.

“So, we’re good? Duke asked cautiously.

“Yes,” Nathan lied. Things didn’t feel alright. They weren’t bad exactly, but something felt different. Duke was nervous, which was a nice change of pace and Nathan felt conflicted. About what he wasn’t sure. It felt like there was more that they didn’t say.

“Good. I’ll text Audrey and we can continue with the celebration,” Duke said taking out his phone and typing out a message. Duke poured each of them another shot when he was done.

“What are we celebrating?” he asked downing the second shot just as fast. Duke took his third.

“The end of a trouble. The happy ending that couple got. The fact it’s sunny out? Who cares, it’s just a good way to show Audrey everything is okay. She’s been worried,” Duke told him. Nathan already knew that. She’d been hovering with concerns and unspoken questions. It only helped to remind Nathan what had happened.

Audrey came up the ramp with nachos in her hand. Duke got up first and took them from her. She climbed onto the boat and came over, trying not to look worried. Nathan knew better.

“That was quick. Is everything settled?” she asked looking between them.

“Yup,” Nathan said although his quiet tone might not be convincing.

“I told you I work quick,” Duke said. As Nathan suspected they had talked about this before hand. He tried not to be annoyed by that. “Sit down. We’re going to enjoy the sunset and getting wasted together.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Nathan asked apprehensively. He turned to Audrey, not sure if she’d be okay with that. Hell, he wasn't really okay with it either.

“I think we all need it,” Audrey said grabbing the bottle by the neck and taking a shot straight from the bottle. That was a little bit of Lexie there. He didn’t mind those hints of someone else anymore. She was still Audrey where it counted. 

Duke put the nachos down and grabbed another chair for Audrey. She sat and poured them both another shot. He took his third and leaned back.


	7. Why did it take so long?

The sunset was putting on a show for them. Red and pinks painted the water and the clouds were a deep purple. It was peaceful and he could understand why people flocked here. He assumed the night was warm since Duck wore a white, button up shirt so thin that it showed off his tattoos. Audrey hadn’t put a coat over her swoop neck t-shirt. 

He felt safe. It wasn’t a familiar feeling for him. He’d been a tense child, bullied and ignored. His high school years had been haunted with more of the same only with hormones. He didn’t think he feel this again, not with Duke. Once upon a time a kind, a young boy had carried him to the hospital and he’d felt safe in those arms. He hadn’t felt disgusting for being troubled. Duke had joked about what most found too morbid to acknowledge. That was why it had hurt so much when those jokes turned cruel. When the pranks started. When he had realized they weren’t friends anymore, not really. Duke had gotten cool and Nathan had sank into the walls. Nathan was never going to be cool and he was okay with that. He must have something to offer since Audrey went through hell and back to be with him. She’d picked him over anyone else and she had options. Duke hadn’t tried to take her away either. He’d stepped back despite loving her. Nathan wondered if he would have had the will to do the same if the shoes had been on the other foot. Did Duke hold contempt for him? Was he secretly jealous? His attention was on the other man who was looking at the sunset. 

Duke realized he was being watched and turned to Nathan. He paused a second before winking at him. Those eyes were still the same, dark and mysterious, twinkling with mischief. His stomach twisted at the sight and he had to look away. Nathan sat forward and grabbed the bottle. His fourth shot was down quickly and then his fifth. He had to be careful. He didn’t get much warning if he was going to throw up. That was the last thing he needed to do right now. 

The sun went down too soon and took it’s beautiful colors with it. Between the lights from The Gull and the full moon they could see each other clearly. Duke didn’t stop giving him shots until Nathan was well into the ‘I’m willing to dance’ phase. His head was fuzzy and he’d completely lost his ability to focus. It didn’t matter. They were laughing about something. He forgot what. 

“And that was the last time I played truth or dare with Celia Morason,” Duke finished and Audrey nudged him.

“I can’t believe you did that,” she said a bit too loudly. It seemed the booze had gotten to her as well. Nathan wished he could remember the story now. 

“Have you ever played truth or dare, Audrey?” he asked pointing the beer bottle he was nursing at her. She thought for a moment and then shrugged. She had that awkward look on her face that came over her when she didn’t know her history.

“I don’t know. Audrey did, but me...I don’t think so,” she said taking another shot.

“That’s a crying shame. You missed a national passtime. We should make up for it,” Duke suggested with a wag of his eyebrows. 

This was a plan, Nathan was sure of it. It was too perfectly set up. He should care more, but as he sipped at his own beer, he couldn’t think of why. 

“The three of us? Oh come on, we know everything about each other,” she insisted.

“No, we don’t,” Duke said giving yet another shot to the woman, “I can think up a few questions. Anyways, it’s just a fun drinking game.”

“Fine,” Audred agreed taking the drink, “But we’re all going to pick truth.”

“So, how about this? We start out with truth and if you don’t want to answer you have to do a dare then take another shot. I’ll start. I pick Nathan.”

Nathan turned to him, his eyebrows draw together. Duke new pretty much everything about him, so why would he bother?

“Okay. Ask away,” Nathan said slurring his words slightly.

“When did you first know you were in love with Audrey?” the other man asked. 

Nathan thought for a moment, pushing past clouded thoughts. He’d known there was attraction for a while, but when had he known it was love? It took him a moment, but he pinpointed it.

“When Jess left and I realized she was still there. Audrey kept seeing the worst of Haven and she was still trying so hard to fight it. She was still with me and she wanted me to help her saves lives. She saw something in me, someone she could trust. She needed me and I remember watching her doing paper and she looked up. She smiled at me and my heart lurched. I swear I could feel it,” he said patting his hand over his chest in emphasis. 

“Nathan,” Audrey said reaching out and taking his hand. His fingers felt funny under her touch, but that didn’t matter. It was just the booze.

“My turn,” Nathan said looking lovely at her, “Audrey, when did you know you were in love with me?”

She answered right away. Not needing to think about it.

“Remember that day neither of you remembers? The one where the day kept repeating?” she asked and they both nodded, she’d told them in detail what had happened, “You died during one of those days. I held you and watched the light go from your eyes. I’ve never felt pain like that before and I knew then.”

“Didn’t we both die that day?” Duke asked breaking Nathan from his trance. He’d almost forgotten they weren’t alone for a moment. All he’d had was Audrey’s hand and her voice telling him when she’d learned she loved him.

“Yeah. You did,” Audrey said taking the shot Duke had left out for her. She was quiet for a moment before continuing the game, “Okay, so Duke...What is the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?”

“Wait, admit a felony while drinking with two cops? I don’t think so. Try again.” 

“Is that you refusing a truth? Doesn’t that mean you have to do a dare?” Audrey asked with a raised eyebrow. Duke groaned.

“Yes, but good luck thinking of something that will shock me, you stick in the muds. Feel free to brainstorm.” 

Audrey leaned into him and he turned towards her. Her jaw was clenched as she struggled to think of something. Nathan didn’t have any suggestions so he just shrugged.

“Jump off the side of the boat,” Audrey said after a while. Duke gave her an exasperated look. “In the clothes you have on now.”

“Oh no,” he said picking up his hands and waving them in a mock of fear, “I’ve never done that before.”

Nonetheless he got up and went to the side of the boat. He got on the railing and looked over, surveying his landing spot. He turned back to them and blew a kiss, before letting his body go loose and falling limply. He hit with a splash. They rushed to the railing to look for him. There was a disturbance where he had gone under, but no bubbles around it. 

They waited in uneasy silence for him to come back up, but after two minutes he still hadn’t.

“Duke!” Audrey yelled. If he’d been hurt she’d never forgive herself. 

“This isn’t funny!” Nathan screamed into the dark.

“It sort of is,” Duke said from behind them. They both jumped. The whiskey and the fright had been them uneasy. Audrey let out a sigh of relief. 

Duke was dripping wet. His jeans clung to his hips, dragged down by the sudden weight of the water. His shirt, already thin, was transparent against his torso. Nathan’s eyes were drawn to the shape of his pink nipples poking through. ‘You’ve seen them a million times’ Duke had told him on that bizarre day. Duke had been right, he had. So, why was his head buzzing when he saw Duke nearly shirtless now. Booze? Definitely booze.

“Don’t do that,” she said trying to sound annoyed.

“Then don’t dare me to do dumb things,” Duke said pushing his cropped hair back into place and sitting down. Nathan retook his place as did Audrey. Duke took his ‘failed to tell a truth’ shot. “My turn again. So, Nathan, what did a female orgasm feel like?”

Nathan’s mouth fell open. He was drunk, but he would never be drunk enough to answer that. Shame watched over his features as he remembered Duke had seen him have said orgasm. Suddenly, he didn’t feel like playing anymore. He wanted to go home.

“Duke,” Audrey hissed.

“You don’t have to answer, but you do have to take a dare,” Duke reminded him. He’d been planning to trap him like this. Nathan should have never agreed to play truth or dare with Duke.

“Fine,” Nathan said unwilling to run and show weakness to his adversary. 

“Kiss Audrey,” Duke told him. Nathan wasn’t sure he heard him right and had Duke repeat it. 

“That’s a dare? Talk about lame,” Nathan said moving to kiss Audrey. Audrey was focused on Duke, the wheels turning in her head. He wasn’t sure how she managed that. He was drunk enough that the cogs were clogged and not moving tonight. It was hard enough to deal in the basics. 

He pressed a hand to her cheek and she leaned into it. Carefully he aimed and brought his lips to hers. He groaned at the softness, the sudden sensation on his mouth. He opened his mouth and she responded, letting him in. Her tongue tasted like whiskey. She was chilly to the touch, the summer night turning cold. Duke must be freezing. They weren't alone he remembered as Duke re-entered his mind. He opened one eye and saw Duke watching them with rampant attention. His fingers, the ones that had touched Nathan intimately, were at his lips and his eyes were dark and deep. He knew that look. He quickly broke the kiss leaving Audrey still puckering, a bit bewildered. She giggled, a drunk reaction to an unpredictable situation and got comfortable again. 

“That was nice,” she said with a lazy smile. 

Duke pushed a shot to him. Nathan didn’t need anymore, but it was his punishment. He took it, warily watching Duke. What was he up to?

“My turn,” Nathan said, keeping his attention on Duke. He could humiliate the other man into denying a truth and letting Nathan decide on a dare. “What was it like kissing me?”

Duke went stiff, eyes going to Audrey. Audrey shrugged as if saying ‘you picked this game’. Nathan waited for him to back out. Duke didn’t. 

“You were clumsy. I couldn’t figure out why at first. You get a lot of practice these days,” he said nodding towards Audrey, “Then I remembered you couldn’t feel the kiss. I felt selfish for taking it. Thought that I was the only one getting anything out of it then you made this sound in the back of your throat and I knew you liked it.”

Duke’s unwavering gaze met Nathan’s and he had to work hard not to drown in those eyes. The booze, Nathan reminded himself, it’s just the booze. It was the booze that was making him see something in those eyes that wasn’t there. That was making him feel something he’d never considered before.

“What do you get out of kissing someone you can’t feel?” Duke asked breaking the format of the game. 

He shouldn’t answer. He didn’t want Duke to know that he’d liked kissing him. He didn’t want to describe what he’d forced himself to learn with Jess. It made him feel too vulnerable, but he couldn’t stop himself.

“The smell,” Nathan whispered, leaning forward and putting a hand on the table in the center, “The smell of perfume and shampoo. The taste of the last thing they ate or drank mixing with the sharpness of their saliva. I see the look on their face as they enjoy the touch. The soft sounds they make and I know it’s affecting their own bodies. They arch into me and reach out, making me feel like they want me. So, it’s mostly mental, but it’s still good.”

Both of them were staring, making them feel him uncomfortable. Had he said too much? He understood what a member of the freakshows must have felt like. The curious glances, even if they weren’t meant with malicious intent, were still cruel. His trouble didn’t give him superpowers like Duke or were just generally dangerous like Dwight’s. His made him an outsider, an oddity. 

“Your turn,” Duke said after a few more moments. He sounded like nothing had changed, but Nathan still felt those eyes on him. He didn’t look up, but he knew the darkness was still lingering in them. The good darkness.

“Audrey,” he said then thought for a moment, “Do you ever miss Chris Brody?” 

Her eyes went wide. Nathan hoped she didn’t think he was jealous. He knew she wasn’t going to run off with him, but he wondered. She had so little history to ask after and this was good enough for ‘truth or dare’.

“No,” she said shaking her head, “No, he changed. His trouble changed him. At the end he wanted me to hold him together, but I can’t do that. I can barely figure out who I am, let alone save someone else.”

“You do pretty good most days,” Duke told her and grabbed her hand. That startled both of them. Audrey jumped, but didn’t pull her hand away. Nathan felt like the outsider again. The unpopular boy trying to play with the cool kids. It was a shitty feeling and considering that Duke was only trying to comfort her, an unfair one. Then Duke turned to him and smiled comforting. Nathan’s heart stopped and he felt locked in place. Booze? The trouble? He couldn’t tell, but it had to be something.

“So, Duke,” Audrey continued the game and Duke let go of her hand, “Did you take any inappropriate selfies when you were female-ish?”

“Inappropriate. No?” Duke said and then grinned impishly, “There is nothing inappropriate about the naked form. It’s only frowned upon because we sexualize it constantly. Which is easy enough with a body this hot. Did some topless and fully nude photography happen? Yes, I mean that is never going to happen again. I need to record it for prosperity.”

There were pictures out there? Pictures of that beautiful woman just as bare as he’d seen her and more? He wondered if he could get into Duke’s phone and satisfy the sixteen year old inside of him who wanted to see them. It was so unfair that jacking off was so damn hard for him.

“Audrey,” Duke started, his voice more cautious than normal and they both focused in on him, “Why did it take so long for you to stop us that night?”

The air filled with electricity and Audrey rounded her shoulders, taking a defensive posture. Had it taken her a while to react? He thought about it, tried to imagine how long they kissed. It might have been a minute, it must have been at least that. He imagined getting that sort of shock. How would long would it take him to recover? A few seconds maybe, ten at the most. He remembered her watching, the color on her cheeks. He stopped breathing as he was getting what Duke had been prying at.

“I wasn’t sure it was part of the trouble,” Audrey confessed as she poured herself another shot. She took it, avoiding their gaze.

“What do you mean?” Nathan snapped out of reflex, “How could you not know?”

“Why should I have? You’d been making eyes at Duke all morning,” Audrey argued back, “And the way you two were acting...I didn’t know.” 

“I was not making eyes,” he said suddenly guilty. 

“You were and you called me pretty,” Duke said effectively ganging up on him. He tried to get up and storm off, but his legs were jelly. All he managed to do was lean against the table again. 

“I didn’t mean it, Audrey,” he said feeling like he needed to apologize for something. He had been looking and that wasn’t all of it. He’d been wanting and that made it worse. He had the perfect girl for him and his eyes had strayed. 

“I told you it’s okay. I’m not jealous,” Audrey said in a soft tone. As long it was Duke, Nathan thought.

“How many times have you imagined it, Audrey? The two of us kissing,” Duke said as he meaningfully nursed his beer. Nathan watched those lips wrap around the head of it, watched hims swallow. A rush of endorphins told Nathan he shouldn’t stand up for a while. 

“No. It’s your turn,” Audrey demanding, pointing a stern finger at Duke, “What are you getting at?”

“I just want to make sure we’re all being honest about what happened,” Duke said with an overconfidence that made Nathan uneasy.

“Duke,” Audrey said and Duke held up a hand stop stop her.

“No,” he said firmly, “It’s my turn now and you’re going to answer me. Do you ever imagined us kissing?”

“Yes. Is that what you want to hear?” Audrey snapped then put a hand over her mouth. Nathan didn’t know what to think, what to feel. He didn’t know what to do with himself. He just sat there like they were talking about someone else. 

“Yes, yes it was,” Duke said then turned as quick as a whip and grabbed Nathan’s face. Nathan couldn’t believe he had reflexes like that after so much whiskey. Maybe Duke hadn’t been taking his. He was about to ask when his mouth was full. He tasted a whiskey flavored tongue before he realized what had happened. It was all a visual blur, then sudden flavor. His eyes were swimming than focused on an upclose look of Duke’s cheek. The smell of aftershave and ocean water hit him hard, Duke’s goatee holding most of the scent. The primal taste pulled a groan out of him as he remembered the night not so long ago. An arm came up on his right and reached into what he could only assume was his hair.He remembered that hand and how it had looked touching his body. Duke wasn’t kissing that body though. This time it was different. His lips were kissing back on their own. He was drunk, he thought, that was it. 

“Duke,” Audrey said her breathing heavy, “Stop.”

Duke did, backing up, but not leaving him. Nathan was buzzing from the kiss, from the booze, from endorphins that made all of this seem okay.

“Twenty seconds this time,” Duke said close enough that Nathan could still smell whiskey on his breath, “Better than last time.”

Nathan could hear the huskiness in Duke's voice and see the color on Audrey's cheeks. She’d liked watching him kiss someone else. He wasn’t sure if he’d feel the same way if he had been watching.

“Duke,” Audrey whispered, “Duke, your turn. Are you attracted to Nathan?” 

The question didn’t make any sense. Duke was the straightest guy he knew. Always hitting on the hottest girls, getting them most the time. Even if Duke did like guys, which Nathan doubted despite just being kissed by him, Duke could do better. Duke could get Calvin Klein models. He wouldn’t have to settle for a geeky, freak like him. 

“Yes,” Duke answered in a gravelly whisper.

Nathan’s eyebrows drew together and his head slightly tilted. That just couldn’t be. What the hell was he supposed to do with that information? Audrey was staring, mouth open and eyes wide. She didn’t seem to have a clue either

“Since when?” Nathan demanded.

“I don’t know, but it was before the genderbending trouble. I've had thoughts, impulses that didn't make sense,” Duke said sounding as confused as Nathan felt, “But that night felt good, felt right. I knew it was a trouble, but after…”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about it,” Nathan finished keeping his eyes closed so he didn’t have to see their reactions. A hand touched his shoulder, but he couldn’t feel it. That was Duke’s hand and he smelt the aftershave close by too.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” Duke comforted him, “We just got stupid drunk and talked too much. Okay.”

Nathan opened his eyes, his head swimming and all he could focus on was Duke. He could see now why women flocked to him. He was surprised that Audrey never had. Although she had, hadn’t she? She’d kissed him in Colorado. She’d watched that night, the look of arousal on her face so obvious. She’d been enjoying it. That was why she’d really taken so long to stop them. 

“Listen, I’m going to head down. You both can follow if you want. If you do something might happen or we can talk more about it. If you don’t then I’ll never mention any of this again,” Duke said as he stood up. He stumbling down the stairs and waving back at them.

Nathan stared after him, his whole world feeling upside down.


	8. I know

Nathan turned to Audrey and gave her a confused expression. He didn’t know what to ask. He couldn’t even think of words. All he could think of was how surprised he was that he wasn’t more upset by all this. He was just worried Audrey would be upset.

“Should we go?” she asked much more unsure now. Nathan didn’t know how to tell her that he didn’t want to go. His eyes went to the doorway and he wondered what would happen down if they went downstairs. 

“If you want,” he told her feeling that weight of the situation firmly on his shoulders, “We’ll go.”

“You don’t want to go do you?” she asked her fingers curling around his bare forearm, “We can’t undo this if it doesn’t work.”

“I’m tired of not knowing,” he answered. 

“I can’t lose either of you,” Audrey said voicing her worries without actually saying them.

“You couldn’t get rid of us if you tried. No matter how weird things get,” Nathan said kissing her sweetly. She answered back with her own sweet kiss that turned passionate slowly. She broke it and took in an uneven breath.

“We’re really going to do this aren’t we?” she asked her voice shaking.

“I think so,” Nathan said taking her head and leading her towards the doorway. 

He walked her down the stairs, keeping tight hold of her hand. No matter what he wasn’t losing her, but maybe gaining something new. Something he hadn’t known he’d wanted until it’d fallen in his lap.

Duke was already shirtless and drying off his hair when they got downstairs. If Nathan had any questions about his attraction to the other man they were quickly going out of the window. He watched as the muscles danced under his skin and wondered if that was sweat or seawater trailing down his chest. Nathan wanted to lick some off and find out. 

“Woah,” Duke said looking both of them over. He obviously didn’t think they would actually come down and accept his offer. Nathan only hoped that Duke was half the wildchild everyone thought he was and knew what they were doing. Nathan had no idea.

“Sorry, I wasn’t getting ready or anything. It was just cold,” Duke said walking towards them as he dried his hair. He made no move to put on a shirt though, despite his apology.   
Audrey was staring at him and Nathan knew he’d been reacting the same way. It made Duke give them this stupid smile and he stopped a few inches in front of Nathan. Nathan thought that Duke was going to kiss him, but he stopped just short.

“It’s still Audrey’s turn,” Duke said biting his lip as he smirked, “New rule though. There are only dares down here.”

“Duke,” she said hesitantly before the words rushed out of her mouth, “I dare you to kiss me.”

Nathan felt like he’d been punched in the gut. That wasn’t what he was expecting. He wanted to be angry, but he couldn’t be. She’d already watched them after all. She hadn’t gotten upset or jealous. 

“Nathan?” Duke asked with a raised eyebrow. Nathan couldn’t say anything, his throat suddenly dry. He managed to nod. 

Duke took a step towards Audrey. She was breathing hard enough to make her chest heave. Duke’s focus was never off of Nathan, making every movement slow and deliberate. First, his hand was on Audrey’s face and she was leaning in. Then he brought his mouth to hers, closing the distance and his eyes. This was insane. He was watching Duke kiss the woman of his dreams and he was absolutely turned on. Had Duke spiked the beers? Did aphrodisiacs really work like this? It was Haven so who knew and at this moment he didn’t care.

It wasn’t a short, chaste kiss.Their tongues quickly coming into play, mouths opening as they tasted one another. Duke made a sound like he’d been wanting to do this for ages. He likely had too. Audrey echoed it and wrapped her arms around his bare shoulders. Her body pressed up against his and rubbed gently against him. Most of Nathan’s sexuality, when he wasn't with Audrey, had to do with visuals and sounds. Audrey was the most beautiful woman he’d ever met and watching her was better than any daydream could ever be.

The kiss broke, but they didn’t move away. They stood, cupping each others faces in both hands. The fire and need in their eyes broke his heart. There was love there and so much restraint. They had been holding so much back and he realized it was all for him. They had ignored or pushed away their feelings so he could be happy. Audrey had chosen him, although that meant giving up someone else. No one else had ever put him first like that. Duke had given up on someone he wanted and still stayed around, kept being the big damn hero all the time. They did it all for him.

“Nathan,” Audrey said suddenly breaking away from Duke and going towards him. Duke backed up, head down and hands on his hips. “I’m so sorry. That was a bad idea, all of this was.” 

She put her hand on his cheek and he felt wetness there. He touched his cheek and then looked at his fingertips. They were wet. He was crying? Her reaction suddenly made sense then.

“No,” he said leaning down and kissing her briefly, “I just, I never realized what you gave up for me. What both of you both gave up for me. I’ve never been loved that much before.”

Duke came back to him slowly, his hand reaching out and gripping his arm. He couldn’t feel it, but he could see it. He could smell the oil that lingered under his fingernails. He remembered the way Duke had put them to his lips.

“You love me,” Nathan said breaking away from Audrey to walk towards Duke. 

Duke only nodded in response and Nathan kept advancing, making Duke back up. Duke was at the wall and Nathan pressed him there. He watched as his hands touched his bare torso. Duke hissed out in pleasure and arched towards the touch. A bead of sweat was crawling down his jugular and Nathan swooped in to lick it up. His tongue trailed up his neck tasting salt water. 

Hands were suddenly on his stomach. Audrey, he knew, because he could feel them. He realized Duke’s hands were at his side, under his shirt now. Without hesitation he grabbed the hem of his shirt and tossed it off. Seeing his naked chest pressed to another man’s was bizarre, but also sexy. Better yet were Audrey’s hands running between them, leaving hot paths over his skin. She was pressed to his back, her breasts soft as she tried to catch her breath. He was pressed like a flower between two pages and he never wanted to move away from either of them. He didn’t need to look down to know he was hard, the question was how long had he been. 

“I have no idea what to do,” Nathan admitted even as he was licking the curve of Duke’s ear. Duke could only whimper for a moment and that made Nathan proud.

“Neither do I,” Duke told him and Nathan looked at him startled.

“You haven’t done this before?” he asked shocked by the news. With all of Duke’s bravado today he was sure the other man had had some experience. 

“Did one devil’s threesome with Evi in the day, but that was all for her,” Duke said. Nathan should have been disgusted, but he wasn’t. The truth was he was jealous. He wanted to be the crazy one and hated that Duke got away with doing it. 

“Guys,” Audrey said backing up and going over towards the bed. She pulled her shirt up and off, tossing it to the side. Her white, lacy bra showed in contrast with her mid summer tan.

“Jesus,” Duke breathed. This was the first time he’d seen that beautiful sight. Nathan was more accustomed, but just as in awe. 

“I want to watch,” Nathan told Duke as he followed Audrey’s led and went to the bed. She was already on it, laying on her back, propped up on her elbows. She was oddly calm about this and he wondered just how much she was pulling from Lexie. 

“What exactly do you want to watch?” he asked sounding cautiously hopeful. 

“You two touching/” he said suddenly thankful for the liquid courage, “Can you do that for me?”

Duke nodded. He crawled over Audrey until their bodies were parallel. She kissed him first this time. Lips were opened quicker, tongues dancing and battling. Audrey whimpered into the kiss and arched her back into him. Nathan knew how that felt, the way her breasts molded to his chest and how warm she was. Duke was learning that now too and the bliss on his face spoke of how much he liked it. His hands were going up and down her ribs. Nathan should be be jealous as hell, but instead he was just turned on. Duke had no shame. It was all just skin, passion and need. He slipped his fingers under her bra strap and got it out of the way. Duke's tongue ran over her collarbone. His body was shaking and he wished he could feel something, anything. He wondered if he could orgasm just by watching them kiss. It was the most erotic feeling. 

Nathan's hand was moving, he realized. He turned to see Duke taking it and he watched as their fingers entwined. He imagined Duke’s rings felt cold and his fingers were warm. Duke sat up, straddling Audrey and kissing Nathan again. Nathan smelt that aftershave and knew without having to look that he was hard again, if he’d ever stopped being so. Audrey grabbed the side of his pants and started pulling them down. Nathan didn’t stop her, but he did panic that Duke might not like what he saw. It was going to be different. Neither of them had ever gone this far, but Audrey was so excited he didn’t stop her.

Nathan was naked now and nerves started to overtake him. He almost covered up when he saw Duke’s attention go south. Duke’s face twisted up for a moment, unsure. He reached down and Nathan watched his movement. Duke grabbed his cock and Audrey gasped as Duke’s hand went from base to tip. Nathan felt nothing, but the visual had him panting.

“I’m glad you can’t feel this. I bet I suck at it,” Duke said chuckling awkwardly. It was the most uncomfortable he’d ever heard Duke sound. 

“You don’t have to,” Nathan said sounding terrible unsure of himself as well. It wasn’t like he could feel it, but it did look amazing. He was so incredibly turned on, his mind buzzing with chemicals that not even his trouble could repress. 

“This could have been a perfect place for a suck it joke, but go your own way,” Duke said then crawled off of Audrey. He pushed Nathan back so he was laying on flat on his back. Duke was over him then, staring down at his naked body and the darkness was in his eyes again. The desire was just as strong when they had been afflicted. Maybe more so.

“Suck it,” Nathan suggested quietly. He was nervous and from the twitch in the corner of Duke's mouth he knew that Duke was too. 

“I will if she takes off her bra,” Duke said wagging a finger at Audrey. Audrey was blushing scarlet, but her hands were already behind her back. She gave Nathan a questioning look and he nodded. She undid her bra and slowly exposed her breasts to Duke for the first time. He stared openly and Nathan felt proud of the woman he’d managed to catch.

“I know,” he whispered to Duke who then began slowly moving down his body. Audrey was panting beside them, aroused and flushed. She couldn’t stop looking at both of them, her eyes flicking from one to the other. She was smiling, but she also had tears in her eyes. Happy tears? When he whispered those words he’d been being cocky, meaning he knew his girlfriend was beautiful, but now he knew something else. “I know you love her.”

Duke flinched and almost stopped his moments, but he didn’t. Kissing skin that couldn’t feel those wet lips on it. Duke's eyes were closed as if to block out what Nathan was saying. 

“And I know you love him,” Nathan said turning to Audrey with a smile.

“Nathan,” she said apologizing without saying the words.

“And I think I do too,” he said sound just as confused as he felt. But he did. It wasn’t as sharp or as clear as loving Audrey, but it was there like an old ache. Duke crawled back up the bed, putting his face right over Nathan’s. 

“I can’t lose either of you,” Duke said squeezing Nathan’s hand and then turning to Audrey. She pulled him into a tight hug. She had understood what he meant before Nathan did. Duke had lost everyone he’d committed himself to in Haven. Evi was gone and Jennifer not long after. Nathan had taken Audrey away from him too. Nathan knew he couldn’t have survived that much pain.

Duke’s legs were still straddling Nathan as Duke embraced Audrey. It was both emotional and sensual. No artist had ever painted a picture so beautiful. 

“You’re not going to,” she promised although they all knew it wasn’t going to be easy to keep. They all had had a lot of close calls. In this moment though it felt easy. It felt like they could be safe and together and happy. They, the three of them, as it always had been since the day Audrey arrived. 

They were still kissing and hugging when Nathan got impatient. He was still drunk enough to be brave. He scooted down the bed without them paying attention. He positioned himself between Duke’s legs so that when he sat up he was face to face with Duke’s groin. He paused, gathering his courage and pulled his zipper down slowly. His heart was pounding, but he still smiled when he realized Duke was going commando. That was so Duke. The chuckle made Duke look down and his eyes went wide. 

Duke’s cock sprang from his pants, hard and just inches from Nathan's face. He’d never seen one so close. Duke was about the same size as him, but they could measure later. There was a musky smell to it, but not unpleasant. His mouth watered as he wondered about the taste. 

“I’ve always wondered if I could do this,” Nathan said gathering both their attentions. Audrey let go of Duke, sitting back so she could get a better angle. 

He opened his mouth and took the tip in. He carefully covered his teeth with his lips, as girls had for him and sank down on the shaft slowly. It easily slipped into his mouth. If it wasn’t for the taste and smell he wouldn’t have known it was there. His eyes were open, watching as it slowly slipped from his mouth. It tasted like salt and skin, nothing too unusual. There was the lingering smell of the sea from the dip Duke had taken and he knew it would always remind him of this moment. Nathan was rewarded with his effort when he heard Duke moan out helplessly. Duke grabbed onto Audrey’s shoulder and held on tight as his eyes went back in his head. 

“Nathan,” he said in a husky voice that made Nathan moan despite his mouthful. He started moving his head back and forth, sucking and slurping. At some point Audrey had taken off her pants as well, underwearing sliding to the floor. She got on the bed with them, her hands going over Duke’s shoulders and down to his hips. 

When they touched it lit up sections of his brain and fried others. He could smell Audrey’s arousal even with Duke’s so close to his nose. His hand reached blindly, searching her out and he found her leg. He ran his hand up it. While he was letting that cock slip in and out of his mouth he found her womanhood. His eyebrows shot up when he felt two fingers already inside of her. He was touching Duke’s hand, he knew because he couldn’t feel it. Duke started to pull his fingers away, but from the way Audrey was whimpering he knew that she didn’t want him to stop. Nathan did his best to hold Duke’s hand there and Duke seemed to get the point. Duke’s fingers went in and out of her. He was learning, quickly figuring out what made Audrey moan. Nathan put his hand to her bare pubic mound and pressed his thumb over her clit. He made slow circles, just the way he knew she liked.

Duke touched her intimately for the first time while Nathan's mouth was still full of his cock.

“You’re so wet,” Duke said between sweet groans. 

“Duke,” she moaned, grabbing onto his shoulders for support. Duke bent down, sucking on one of her nipples. She whimpered, her body going stiff. She cried out both of their names as she came, her body jerking and shivering under his touch. 

“Fuck,” Duke said frustrated as he gritted his teeth, “Nathan stop.”

Nathan did stilling his head only for a moment. He tasted a heavy drop of precum on his tongue and he understood. The drop tasted salty and a bit sour. It wasn’t new to him, he’d tried his own before. Not that he’d ever admit to that. He kept going besides what Duke had said. His neck didn’t get tired, his muscles didn’t get sore and his jaw never locked. He could keep going indefinitely if he wanted. Nathan realized he could easily be the blowjob king and felt a sense of pride.

“Did Nathan ever tell you how enhanced his other senses are?” Audrey asked as she started tweaking Duke’s nipples, her voice sultry, “He can smell when I’m aroused from across the room. He says the taste of my...special juices can take him to the edge of orgasm.”

Duke smirked in a rueful, but weak way and said “Your boyfriend has my cock in his mouth, I think you can say pussy now.”

“Our,” Audrey said softly going down and biting his nipple as if in punishment, “Our boyfriend.”

Duke whimpered then moaned, his body going stiff as they both pleasured him. Finally, Duke spasmed and Nathan’s mouth was filled with something salty and sour. He didn’t swallow right away letting the sensation build up. It was like drinking syrup, which he had done on more than one occasion. Duke’s moans and gasps echoed off the walls and came back to them. His face opened with pleasure and clenched as he felt another wave hit, more of the taste filled Nathan's mouth. It got so full he was forced to swallow. 

Once Duke was still Nathan slowly dropped his cock from his mouth. He was so turned on that he couldn’t think. He pulled himself from between Duke’s legs and grabbed Audrey. He kissed her, sharing the new taste with her for the first time. He was panting when he broke the kissing, but he didn’t move away. His body arching for any sort of sensation. 

“Please, Audrey,” he whimpered. She ran her hand over his face and he shook his head. Not there, not there. She seemed to understand and pulled him to the side of the bed. His legs went over the side and she got down on the floor, kneeling by his legs.

“Come here,” Audrey told Duke who lazily nodded his head. They both kneeled down by his cock. He never saw anything so sexy before. Duke was post orgasm blissful and Nathan had brought him there. He needed relief and soon. It was like dying of thirst in prison while someone held a cup of water just out of reach. 

Finally, Audrey’s hand wrapped around his cock and his world was filled with color. It only took a few strokes and then he came. Everything went white and silent as Audrey finished him off easily. He didn’t realize what he’d done until he’d opened his eyes. His cum covered both their faces and Duke was laughing, but not in a mocking way. He was deliriously happy. 

Duke went to grab a towel and Audrey got up. She pushed Nathan back on the bed and curled up against his side. She nibbling on his over sensitive earlobe before she whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said grasping her hand.

Duke was already cleaned up when he came back. He saw them both cuddling on the bed and paused. Sheepishly he tossed the towel onto the bed, but Nathan had already licked up most of the mess. His tongue was alive with the flavor. Audrey still cleaned herself briefly, getting the spit off. 

“I can, um,” Duke said motioning with his thumb to the other room.

“I just came on your face I think we can snuggle,” Nathan said being as bold as Duke always was. He earned himself a rare flush from the other man. 

Duke dropped his jeans to the floor and climbed in behind Nathan. Duke held the other man close as if afraid he was about to disappear. Audrey didn’t tell him to let go, trusting Nathan to have an idea when things would getting damaged. They laid in silence for a while, feeling as if the tension between them had finally snapped. 

The night Audrey got to cuddle next to Duke, which she couldn’t do with Nathan. Nathan laid on the other side of Duke able to smell his aftershave as he drifted off to sleep, but wasn't distracted by any touches. He hoped that Duke really liked being in the middle of them. It was going to happen often.


	9. Epilogue

The morning after was awkward, but not for the reason Nathan had expected. Nathan had sat up straight out of bed and knocked Duke into Audrey since he couldn’t feel the man beside him. He needed to pay more attention. Audrey had a little bruise on her forehead, but they had all laughed it off. 

The three of them made breakfast in the nude, finding an easy rhythm. It wasn’t that hard dancing through the kitchen with Duke. They all knew each other so well they could do things without talking about it. Instead they talked about the ocean, about vacations and about anything silly they could think up. Duke’s laughter filled a space that had been silent and made the small room feel even more like home. 

To ensure that sober feelings were just as strong as drunk ones they all kissed. That would have lead to much more if the detective’s phones hadn’t gone off. Two crazies were just brought in and they were needed. Duke joined them this time. After dressing they left together. They were greeted by a much more relaxed policed station, at least relaxed in a personal way. There was still a lot of buzzing around the prison cells where two women were muttering. 

Nathan walked straight into Dwight’s office, too used to moving around the police station. A familiar, almost goth man was sitting on Dwight’s desk. They were talking and laughing but went quiet when Nathan arrived. The man ducked his head and left the room red faced.

“Was that Luke?” Nathan asked after watching the man leave.

“Yes,” Dwight said tight lipped.

“Are you…?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. He didn’t have much wiggle room in this department, but he still found it odd.

“It’s complicated, but he’s a nice guy and…”

“No need to say anymore,” Nathan said his eyes straying to Duke who was leaning on a pillar near by. Duke must have felt someone watching, because their eyes met. Duke gave him a lopsided smile and Nathan swore he felt his heart jump. Audrey came over to talk to him and the feeling doubled, becoming almost too much. “Sometimes it just doesn’t matter. This is Haven. Nothing has to be cookie cutter perfect or even make sense. When you find a little happiness you should just hold on.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going with a very untraditional take on genderbending. This Haven so things never go that smoothly. I hope you enjoy!


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